Ever have one of those days where you wonder why you made some of the decisions you have in life?
I've been having what feels like an entire
week of wondering why I ever left retail.
That might sound weird to those of you who have been there and left, or who've never done retail work, or who are trying to get out of retail, but let me lay it out for you:
I have worked for Florida State University since
I think late-June early-July 2005. My last cost of living raise was in 2006, right around the time I left the library and started working at the medical school. I have gotten exactly one raise since that time in a non-cost-of-living capacity, and that was only enough to put me juuuuuust over $21,500 annually. I spend 8 hours of my day at a computer for the most part, with intermittent times away to deliver paper to the office suites and run documents because we have not had an OPS-level student assistant worth any damn since Ashley - who was a literal godsend, I'm telling you - finished both her undergrad work and graduate studies in 2008. In February, my immediate supervisor is retiring and I will be inheriting all the travel stuff from her, but I already do half of that anyway.
Prior to 2005, I worked at (in order) McDonald's from June 1996 til July/August 1998, Walmart from July/August 1998 until late-2004/early 2005, and Suncoast Motion Picture Company from November 2004 through
June July 2005 when I started working for the university. The only reason I left Walmart was, honestly, the fact that I worked with a rampant misogynist on the Inventory Control Team (i.e. I worked in the stockroom, took items to the floor when needed, and helped unload trucks from 4pm until I left, generally 8pm). Had the management team actually done something about him, I might still be there or I may have moved to another retail job. Another reason I left retail on the whole was that I wanted to get into a job where I wasn't living paycheck to paycheck, where I could have some spending money as well as a set schedule with weekends off; my days off at Walmart were Monday and Tuesday, and I worked closing shift every Saturday at Suncoast as well as working nearly every Sunday.
The fact of the matter is... I'm still living paycheck to paycheck, mostly because of the aforementioned no cost of living raises for years now while the cost of living in Tallahassee has gone up at
least 10% since my last 3% raise. I go through many days feeling like I haven't gotten anything done in spite of how much is on my plate. I don't get overtime pay, instead I get comp time that I
have to use up before I can delve into my vacation hours. I generally have regular 8am to 5pm work days, but sometimes - like tomorrow where I'll be stuck here until around 7pm and the two days of the symposium in January where I'll be working til 7pm one day and probably be trapped on a fucking Friday evening until almost 9-fucking-o'clock - I have no choice but to stay at work late and get no real compensation for it... because I'd rather get monetary overtime pay than a few hours of "free" time to use however I want later.
When I worked in retail, if I worked past my usual hours, I got time-and-a-half pay. Meaning if I was making $9 an hour and worked an extra hour? I got $13.50 in extra cash on my paycheck. I honestly miss retail work with a passion some days, because even if I only unloaded two trucks or straightened up the aisles in Housewares or accepted delivery or put out stock all day, and I went home feeling like something Jimi dragged in after batting it around the house a dozen times, I felt like I had actually gotten shit
done. It was even more rewarding to get that overtime pay just for helping out at work a little more.
What's even worse is,
apollymi and I went to Old Navy on Friday to do a bit of window shopping (we wound up buying stuff after all), and it was all I could do to not ask the nice cashier who rang me out if he knew whether or not they'd be hiring after the holidays.
Some days, I'm sure the only reason I don't just chuck this job and go right back to retail is the fact that I have insurance benefits (such as they are...) which won't really carry over if I start from scratch again somewhere else. Still, I get the nostalgia sometimes and wonder
what if I'd just told that guy to shove it up his ass, pointed out that I cleared twice as much merchandise in a day as he did, and just kept on keepin' on?What-ifs and maybes. I guess I'll never know.
Crossposted from DreamWidth. Click here to view other comments to the entry.